DBT Coping Skills
DBT Skills Cheat Sheet: A Guide to Adaptive Coping
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers practical coping skills to help individuals manage emotions, improve relationships, and reduce distress. This guide breaks down DBT skills into four main categories: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. Each section is paired with relevant coping techniques to help you apply these skills in real-life situations.
This cheat sheet will walk you through each skill category, explain its purpose, and provide matching coping strategies you can use when you need them most.
How to Use This Cheat Sheet
Identify Your Current Need: Are you feeling overwhelmed, emotionally dysregulated, or struggling in a relationship?
Select a DBT Skill Category: Choose Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, or Interpersonal Effectiveness based on what fits your situation.
Apply the Matching Coping Skills: Use the suggested coping techniques to put the DBT skills into practice.
Mindfulness Skills
Mindfulness skills help you stay grounded in the present moment, without judgment. By becoming aware of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations, you can respond intentionally rather than react impulsively.
Wise Mind
The balance between Reasonable Mind (logic, facts) and Emotion Mind (feelings, urges)
Wise Mind is the middle path—intuitive, grounded, and balanced
Helps you make decisions aligned with values and reality
"What" Skills (What You Do to Be Mindful)
Observe
Notice thoughts, feelings, and sensations
Watch your experience like a scientist or witness
Don’t push away or hold on
Describe
Put words to what you observe
Label thoughts, emotions, and sensations
Stick to the facts
Participate
Throw yourself fully into the moment
Become one with the activity
Let go of self-consciousness
"How" Skills (How You Do It)
One-Mindfully
Do one thing at a time
Focus all attention on the present task
Let go of distractions
Non-Judgmentally
Notice without labeling things as good or bad
Accept reality as it is, not as it "should" be
Acknowledge judgments and let them pass
Effectively
Focus on what works
Let go of being “right”
Do what’s needed for the situation
Distress Tolerance Skills
Distress tolerance skills provide tools for managing intense emotions and urges without acting impulsively or engaging in harmful behaviors. These skills help you ride the wave of emotional distress until it passes.
Distraction (ACCEPTS) – Shift attention away from distress
Activities – Do something engaging (e.g., hobbies, cleaning, games)
Contributing – Help others; volunteer; send a kind message
Comparisons – Compare your present self to your past self with a positive filter
Emotions – Create a different emotion (e.g., watch a comedy)
Pushing away – Put the problem aside mentally for a while
Thoughts – Distract with puzzles, books, podcasts
Sensations – Hold ice, take a hot shower, chew strong mint gum
Self-Soothe – Comfort using the 5 senses
Sight – Light candles, look at art, go outside
Sound – Listen to calming or uplifting music
Smell – Use essential oils, perfume, or baked goods
Taste – Sip tea, eat something warm or enjoyable
Touch – Wrap in a blanket, take a bath, hold a pet
TIPP – Regulate body chemistry in moments of high distress
Temperature – Splash cold water, hold an ice pack to your face
Intense Exercise – 15–30 seconds of vigorous movement (e.g., jumping jacks)
Paced Breathing – Inhale for 4, exhale for 6 to slow heart rate
Progressive Muscle Relaxation – Tense and release each muscle group
IMPROVE the Moment – Shift your mental/emotional state
Imagery – Visualize safety, success, or a calming place
Meaning – Find or create meaning in the suffering
Prayer – Turn to a higher power or your inner values
Relaxation – Engage in calming practices (e.g., yoga, deep breathing)
One thing in the moment – Focus fully on the present task or sensation
Vacation – Take a short break (mentally or physically)
Encouragement – Use positive affirmations or self-talk
Alternate Rebellion – Safe expression of resistance
Acknowledge your need for autonomy in creative, non-destructive ways
Examples: wear expressive clothes, take a day off, journal something bold
Pros and Cons – Slow down and make wise decisions
Weigh the pros and cons of:
Acting on an impulsive urge
Resisting the urge
Use during urges to self-harm, quit, lash out, etc.
Mindfulness-Based Distress Tolerance Skills
Observing Your Breath – Notice the inhale and exhale without changing it
Half Smile and Willing Hands
Half Smile – Softly raise the corners of your mouth to cue calmness
Willing Hands – Keep palms open and facing upward to signal openness
Turning the Mind – When you drift into resistance, gently turn your mind back to acceptance
Radical Acceptance – Fully accept reality as it is, even if you dislike or disagree with it
Emotion Regulation Skills
Emotion regulation skills help you identify, understand, and change emotional responses. They are particularly useful for maintaining emotional balance and preventing emotional overwhelm.
Emotions Have a Function
Each emotion serves a purpose—emotions are not problems, but signals.
Fear: Protects from danger, helps us escape or avoid threats
Joy: Connects us to others, motivates us to engage and keep doing something
Disgust: Keeps us away from harmful substances or moral violations
Surprise: Increases alertness, focuses attention on something new or unexpected
Anger: Signals injustice or boundary violation, mobilizes us to act
Sadness: Signals loss, slows us down to process and seek comfort
Observe and Identify Emotions
Name what you feel (label it precisely)
Notice body sensations, thoughts, urges
Separate facts from interpretations
Practice mindfulness: “Just notice” without judgment
Reduce Emotional Vulnerability – ABC PLEASE
Build a life that supports emotional balance:
A: Accumulate Positive Emotions
Short-term: Do pleasant activities daily
Long-term: Build a meaningful life aligned with your values
B: Build Mastery
Do things that make you feel competent and effective
C: Cope Ahead
Rehearse coping strategies before challenging situations
PLEASE (physical vulnerability factors):
PhysicaL health
Eat balanced meals
Avoid mood-altering substances
Sleep well
Exercise regularly
Ride the Wave
Emotions are like waves: they rise, peak, and pass
Don’t fight, block, or suppress the emotion
Allow it to come and go without acting on impulsive urges
Opposite Action
When your emotion doesn’t fit the facts or is unhelpful:
Identify the emotion and urge
Ask: Does the emotion fit the facts? Is it effective?
Do the opposite of the emotional urge on purpose
Example: If angry, try kindness
If afraid, approach (if safe)
Love Your Emotions
Embrace emotions as valid parts of your experience
Cultivate compassion for yourself and your feelings
See emotions as messengers, not enemies
Practice gratitude for what emotions teach you
Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
Interpersonal effectiveness skills are about maintaining healthy relationships, setting boundaries, and balancing your needs with others’ needs. They help you communicate clearly, ask for what you need, and handle conflict gracefully.
Prioritize Your Interpersonal Goals
Objective Effectiveness: Getting what you want
Relationship Effectiveness: Maintaining the relationship
Self-Respect Effectiveness: Acting in line with your values
Consider Options for Intensity
How important is the goal?
How strong is your relationship?
What are the possible consequences?
How likely are you to succeed?
Adjust assertiveness accordingly
Say No and Observe Your Limits
Know your personal boundaries
Assertively say no when needed
Protect your time, energy, values
3 Targets of Interpersonal Effectiveness
Objective Effectiveness – DEAR MAN
D: Describe the situation clearly
E: Express your feelings and opinions
A: Assert by asking or saying no
R: Reinforce the benefits of your request
M: Mindful—stay on track, ignore attacks
A: Appear confident—body language and tone
N: Negotiate—be flexible and offer solutions
Relationship Effectiveness – GIVE
G: Gentle—no attacks or judgment
I: Interested—show you’re listening
V: Validate—acknowledge their feelings
E: Easy manner—use warmth or humor
Self-Respect Effectiveness – FAST
F: Fair—to yourself and others
A: (No) Apologies—don’t over-apologize
S: Stick to values—don’t compromise your beliefs
T: Truthful—be honest, no exaggeration
Key Takeaway
This DBT Cheat Sheet offers quick access to effective coping tools you can use in everyday situations. Whether you're dealing with emotional distress, trying to improve relationships, or just aiming to stay grounded, these skills can help you respond intentionally and reduce emotional suffering.
With practice, DBT skills can become second nature, fostering greater self-awareness, emotional resilience, and well-being. Use this cheat sheet as a guide whenever you need support, and don’t forget—progress takes time, so be kind to yourself along the way.
This cheat sheet can be a helpful companion in both therapy and coaching settings, offering clients practical ways to integrate coping skills into their daily lives. Feel free to revisit and adjust your approach as you continue your personal growth journey.
